I had been bullied from the time I was in kindergarten, so by the time I was fourteen,  I wanted nothing more in life than to be “popular.” I chemically relaxed my curly, frizzy hair and wore trendy clothes, and tried to imitate the popular girls. I spent many years trying to be enough… skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough, cool enough.  When my family moved across the country while I was in high school, I thought I was finally getting my chance at popularity and a fresh start. A few months later when I was walking down the high school hallway and the taunting started again– people calling me names and throwing things at me– something in my mind snapped. 

“I’m never going to fit in. So screw it! I’ll be whoever I want to be!” And in that moment, I was no longer trying and failing to live up to other’s expectations — I was free! I shaved off most of my hair and dyed the rest purple; I donned Doc Marten boots and fishnet, and became the big, boisterous spirit that I am today.  I want you to find that same freedom.  

As counter-intuitive as it may seem, responsibility is the key to freedom. The more responsibility we are willing to accept– for our health, the quality of our relationships, the state of our finances or achievement of our goals– the more free we become within our own lives. 

YOU ARE ENOUGH! Exactly as you are now, exactly as you are currently being! If you could tap into that knowledge every day, and find your own voice and your own power, would that change things for you?  

And yes, that’s me (above, on the right) fighting in the Thunder Dome at Burning Man, surrounded by hundreds of spectators. It took me many years to work up the courage, because I had a story about not being “cool enough!”